It’s almost dark, I see the silhouettes of the trees from inside the cave. It’s warmer here, and everyone inside is getting ready for the night. My name is Lilma (Remember Wilma? Lilma is Laura in 10,000 BC. )
This is the Palaeolithic.

Lilma is deep in her thoughts: 

“I didn’t stand out today. The selection of wild plants I gathered was so much less than Lucy’s. And I only collected 10 logs for the fire. I’m worried… what if they kick me out? 
The lion is waiting for me out there. I run fast, but he’s faster. He’ll kill me first, and then eat me. 

I better remember: I need to impress them! 
I need to show them how good I’m with:
  – spotting poisonous herbs
  – running as fast as light 
  – and dancing around the fire (which I can’t light up, but I won’t make them know). 
This is survival 101″.

Back to 2021. Lions aren’t around. I live in my place. Safe. 
My brain confuses Instagram posts with the people in the cave, and while I’m trying to impress them, there’s always somebody who’s better than me. 

“I’m not enough”.

I’m on a Zoom meeting, and my brain thinks I’m with my cave-mates around the fire. Some tell jokes, some are cool, others are talented. They’re so perfect. 

“I’m not enough, they’ll think I’m not worth of their time”. 

We try to impress. All the time. 
It’s 2021 and Elon Mask is trying to go take us to Mars, but our brain still thinks impressing others is survival skill 101.

Wanting-to-be-perfect is a ‘feature’ in our brain. Feeling inadequate all the time is all its fault! 

Why am I writing you about perfection, again?

Because feeling not-enough is just normal. It’s the result of how our brain works.

Being-not-perfect is not your fault.
Nobody is perfect.

Feeling-not-perfect is not your fault either.
It’s your brain’s fault. (Not just yours… every human brain is like this). 

Does it mean that also Byoncée is feeling not-good-enough? You bet! 

You know what happens when we stop trying to be perfect all the time? 
We get better! 

We do, because we’re not worried of failing. We already know it’s gonna happen. 

So it’s all down to the A of your A&E. Acceptance again. 
[Not sure what I talk about? click here to read about “A” of your A&E. And then here for the “E”.].

Accepting ourselves, including our failings, is like saying: 

“Hey Lilma, that’s ok. As everybody else, you’re trying to be perfect. But as everybody else, you’ll never be. You’re imperfect… like  e-v-e-r-y-b-o-d-y  else”.

—  YOU:  Does it mean that I shouldn’t try my best? 
—  ME:  NO! the opposite. Trying our best is a propellent that maybe will take us to Mars. No matter how many failing attempts.  

Do you accept yourself? 
Can you accept the failures you had today? 
Or do you feel that if you do, you won’t get anywhere?

Will you let me know? Email and let me know if you’re willing to try accepting your failures and moving on, or if you still prefer kicking your butt with your harsh inner voice. 
I’ll not judge! (I’m dealing myself with my own inner voice). 

To a life to enjoy,
Laura



PS: When you see Jennifer Aniston having a bad hair day (and so being imperfectly human), don’t you feel her closer to you?  When we’re openly imperfect we attract more, as we’re more relatable. So what’s all the fuss about being perfect all the time? Let’s just be human.

PPS: Do you think we’ll ever go to Mars? I always dreamt of being on another planet and watching the earth in the sky… instead of the moon. Wound’t that be cool? 

PPPS: A good way to start feeling enough, is training your brain to relax. Listening to the Guided Relaxation is a first (important) step. Click here to get it and share the link with your friends who need help.

 

 

 

[Photo by Joshua Sortino on Unsplash]