Have you ever ended up somewhere you didn’t want to?

Today I was thinking I haven’t taken the tube (for non-Londoners, this is the Underground) for many months.
And so I remembered once I took it and it didn’t really go plan…

…

I’m looking at my watch. I checked the time only 30sec ago, but still.
I’m tight with time. I almost hear my heart beating… and it’s fast.

I’m watching the stations go by. I wish they’re going quicker!

And then, suddenly a realisation…F**K!!! I can’t believe it!
I’m going in the wrong direction.

The doors open. I get off the train. I get up the stairs, cross the bridge, get down the stairs. All this 2x steps at a time and carrying my baggage like if it was a baby.

At the platform I wait. The LED sign says 2min, it feels 2hr.

I get on the train. I stand in front of the doors, ready to jump off the train at maximum speed… doors opening & closing for 12 stops.

It’s London. It’s 2004 and I’m working in Baker St.
When going home at the end of the day, it’s EAST on the Hammermisth & City line. But today I’m going to Liverpool St Station, to get to the airport. This is WEST!

And I went EAST. The habitual way.

Fast forward to when I reach the airport, I run up the escalators to the departures floor doing 3 steps at a time. I see the Rayanair desk for the check-in like if it was a mirage in a desert. This is 2004, check-ins only happen at that desk.
My heart has moved to my head at this point.

The Ryanair girl, looking down and never crossing my gaze: ’Sorry it’s now closed’

Me, desperate: ‘But I need to go. Let me go… it’s only 60sec after the closing time. Please…please…please…‘

‘The check-in is closed, you can buy another flight at the desk over there’.

‘£$&%(^))@)£!!!!’ This is my critical inner voice.
Right now an angry, very angry inner voice.

I call my then-boyfriend (now-husband!) to tell him that we won’t see each other for another two weeks. He still lives in Italy.

Have you ever ended up being somewhere you didn’t mean to, only because of habit?
And so,<< Test First Name >>, were where you (in your head, I mean) instead of being present?

That July 2004 I was thinking already at how awful it would have been on the Sunday, saying goodbye to him, crying at the Turin airport.
(A bit ironic don’t you think? …not having even reached Turin!)

Being in the future is good for planning. But already living the pain of something that hasn’t happened yet, is like living it twice.
Or living something that will never happen! 

Practicing Mindfulness Meditation helps you return to the present and be aware of what you’re doing.

It may help you ending up where you want to go.

(It’ll also help enjoy what you have… imagine how the weekend was ruined by the thoughts of the goodbye, even before it started).

To a life to enjoy,
Laura